it's only you and me

2006-10-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

if i could see you now,
all i want to do is to have my eyes only on you
nothing else than that
i wanna look at you for every moment in my life.

if i could hold u now,
i would never let u go
i wanna hold on to u for life
like 2 inseparable bodies.

if there's something that i could tell u now,
it would be
how beautiful my life is now that i've got you

always together
undying devotion
endless dedication
never to give up
ready for anything as long its for you.

dat's my promise to you.
a special message for a special someone like you

2006-10-24T07:18:00.000-07:00

hmm...how shall i start...

in regards to yesterday,
yes, i was sad...but that was all to it...

honestly, i didn't expect myself to feel the way i did...that wanting to cry...that emptiness and ache...

about what i said...i'd like u to know that it was not something to made u think that i do not trust u or love u anymore...i dunwan to be the kind of boyfriend who isnt able to make his gf happy and wont let her go...if i'm willing to let u go, its not becos i don love you anymore, but cos if u realli will be happy wif him, den i'd rather u choose happiness...

i'm sorrie for all that has happened...that's why i like to hug u close cos i nv liked to be apart from u....that's why i like to kiss you...not cos of physical intimacy...but i guess cos i do not know how to show love other then through physical means...for that, i am sorry...

all in all, i jus wanna say i realli appreciate u for what u've done...i wish by giving you my life, i'd giv u that part of me dat i cant give anyone else...dear, wo hao ai ni. =)

2006-10-23T23:38:00.000-07:00

i don't know what are we now
seriously.
i know i want you and i need you
but i don't wish to hurt you again
i know u're sad
but im nt feeling any way better either

the pain was doubly hard when i saw that msg from you
you said this: if ultimately its still him. you don't need me to carry on the sentence cos im sure u know wad i mean. dat was excatly wad u wrote in the msg. i could still rmb vividly till now. i could not get this off my mind. i thought u dun need me anymore. that msg really hit me real hard. could not stop crying ever since then. every tears dropped were for you. u could nvr imagine how hurt i was then. my heart aches so much that it was a total breakdown for me. small matters like this could affect me so much, i can't imagine if i were to lose you which i really really don't wish for that to happen.

im sorry. im sorry for treating u this way
u were being very understanding and tolerant, i can see.
im really sorry.
feeling all weak now, all i need is your trust and love.

i don't dare to msg u, not that i don't want to
i wanted to but im scared.
i don't know if you are still angry with me.
i'll wait then.

2006-10-03T03:38:00.000-07:00

sorry about yesterday
i hate myself for behaving like that.

right from the beginning,
i promise myself not to bother you
but yet im doing so..

i won't blame you if you hate me
cos i hate myself too
such a nuisance.

this is the 2nd time that i feel like giving up
guess im kinda tired.emotionally
i wanted to put an end to it
but yet my heart yearns for you
i don't want to lose you, really
but yet little details are affecting me so much
that i wonder how long i could hold on.

im sorry, dear.
but i guess im too sensitive over little details
that the pain im enduring is overwhelming.

i just want you to know how important you are to me
and i don't wish for us to part.

2006-09-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

i've failed.

ever wonder what u see life as?

for me, sometimes, ONLY WHEN I'M SAD, i see my life as something that is filled with expectations, expectations that people set for u to meet?

i hate to think of myself as a guy that is weak, but i know i am. i'm weak. i can't handle my own emotions, and i cant discern right from wrong, truth from lies.

hmms...guess i don feel sad now, jus wanna be numb...mayb i'll jus let u in on a little something....

do u know that boys will always try to prove that they are a man until they are recognised as one? i cant realli see myself fit to be the captain of the team now....i've lost the vision that i've seen, i've lost myself in the process...

i need someone to tell me what's going on...

2006-09-23T22:13:00.000-07:00

you gave your heart and i'll give my life.
i'll tell u again baby that you'll always be mine.

argh, i cant seem to make it rhyme anymore...haha! =x

my dear baby, u'll be in my arms all night

2006-09-23T01:29:00.000-07:00

i did not catch a single wink last night
i was practically crying my heart out
i dunno the reason for doing so
i cried nonstop
till the next morning
dropped dead to my pillow
when i finally could stop crying
and sleep

i should have know that such things would happen, but i just went all out thinking of giving it a try. i dunno what else i could do.

2006-09-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

thought that i could only see you on wed
but i didn't have to wait for a wk to see u
well, i didn't plan for that
it was indeed an unexpected one
i got lots of stares the moment i stepped in
wad the =.=
gone all speechless at the moment
but i was feeling rather happy
even though i could only get a few glances at you
everything was pretty okay
till i reached home

i read through lots of stuff
and suddenly i felt very tired, emotionally
other girls got presents from their love
like flowers, bears etc etc
but what have i got so far. zero presents?
their love would mention abt their girl
like in blogs, verbally etc etc
but what abt us?
looks like im the only one doing so
i mention lots abt u in front of my friends
cos i wanna let them noe how impt u r to me
and how much i love you

yea. i noe that i shouldn't compare
but i cant help to do so

im feeling kinda tired
i dunno why
sorry for this post. i jus need a place to talk it out
i wouldn't say that i've done a lot for u
but this is the only relationship
dat ive put in so much effort to keep it going

but dont worry, i'll be fine

2006-09-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

no matter what little things u do, its your BIG heart that matters to me!

i know i'm not there all the time, but u know we'll be there through the seasons...

cos here in my heart there's a pic of us, together forever
whenever u are, you love comforts me
forever more, u'll be here in my heart

2006-09-17T03:15:00.000-07:00

come home soon

2006-09-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

it might mean a while to you
but it means much more for me
do you know how worried i was
i kept waiting for your reply
waiting and waiting
whenever a sms comes in,
i thought it would be you
but it turns out to be not
)=
i thought i could handle that
but i realised i could not.
after that, im faced wif a family prob
at that very moment, i really don't know what to do
im the only one left in my house
dere's nobody i could talk to
u're not there for me
i dunno where to find you
you broke your promise that you would
be there for me
shattered*
all i can do was to cry myself to sleep
i cried.yes, another time this month.
im emotionally drained this time
apology doesn't mean anything this time
it won't help
just leave me alone

2006-09-11T01:54:00.000-07:00

dear, sorry for not being able to come down today
so sorry!! dun hate me, okay?
i noe u won't lar. hehe=p

hmm.. i enjoyed myself ytd
though we only get to spend the evening together
but its enough for me (:
thanks for everything!
next time we shall go that cinema more often =p

I LOVE YOU (:

2006-09-09T00:07:00.000-07:00

how would you define spending quality time
dat was the question you asked me
well, for me.
i cherish special moments spent with my loved ones(:
even a simple dinner would be enough for me.

dear, i want to have more special moments spend with you
we're lacking of that =p

2006-09-08T01:41:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 1 MONTH (:

2006-09-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

dear, i will try to come down tmr
at least to pass you whatever i have prepared for you
hmm.. i noe that u're gonna be very busy
so guess all i can do now is to wait
hmm.. waiting can train one's patience
hahah
wad the crap!

thanks for coming down today(:
really happy to see you today
though at times u were pretty emo
i wish i noe why
but overall, everything was good[:

well, after tmr
i would not know when would i meet you again
sighs. sad sad )=
maybe nxt wk? nah.
guess till sch reopens ba
so i will try to go down tmr
hmm... dat's all